Point of View

Have you ever thought about the term “point of view”?

You’ve probably heard the story about several blind people examining and describing an elephant. The guy at the tail thinks an elephant is a long ropey thing. The guy at the trunk and the guy at a leg all have completely different takes on what an elephant is. But when I hear that story, I always think the metaphor falls apart pretty quickly. A blind person is going to feel around for the rest of the animal, and after a while, all the guys will feel the whole elephant – or at least the parts they can reach, and wouldn’t they eventually bump into each other and share what they felt?

Circle Up and Check It Out

I find point of view fascinating. I picture a group of people sitting in a circle, looking at an object. Each one of us sees something slightly different from the person next to us, and the person across from us sees something completely different than we see. Does that make anyone wrong? It’s fascinating to hear how other people see things. We’re all different because we were all formed by different environments, different circumstances, different thoughts, forming different beliefs and attitudes.

Whaddaya Mean There's Only One Point of View?

I’ve always felt it important to understand other people’s points of view. I thought everyone did... until one day I had my first encounter with someone who thought that their opinion was truth, and that’s that. For him, there was no other way of looking at it or seeing it or talking about it or thinking about it. It was a solid, firm, permanent fact.

I was stunned and confounded that anyone could think that way. An opinion is only an opinion. It isn't a fact.

I was trying to wrap my head around it and having quite a time of it. As I mused aloud about it, a friend said, “Well, that’s one point of view, that’s there’s only one point of view.” That thought smacked right down in my mind like a piano falling from the sky. Wow. What a trip. What a strange way to experience the world. I physically shook off the rigidity that I felt even considering this thought, but it stayed with me. That is one point of view, and it’s just as valid as any other point of view.

That's Helpful When People Talk Politics

Needless to say, having this understanding served me immensely in recent political times when name-calling has been raised to mammoth proportions. I kept telling myself, “OK, this is actually how they see things. They are telling their truth.”

I usually can get along with just about anyone, but I have noticed that the ones that are the most difficult for me are the ones who are the most rigid. For example, over the years I have learned at least four ways to give directions. Some people cannot understand North/South/East/West directions, some can’t read a map, some need to have the road names, some need the landmarks (the hardest one for me), and so on. It helps me when teaching a technical subject, because I have learned to explain things several ways.

If You Don't Like What Someone is Doing...

One of the few things I remember my mom saying, probably only once, but it was enough, was “If you don’t like what someone is doing, all you can really do about it is make sure that you don’t do that too.” The more life experience I have, the more I realize how true that is. I love that I can learn 4 or 5 ways of describing something, but I need to know when to draw the line and not “co” someone; to not bend so far backward for them that I lose my own balance.

Think Sheldon Cooper on the Big Bang Theory. I love that show, but when Sheldon is being Sheldon, I sometimes ask Leonard out loud, “Why on Earth do you stay? Why the heck don’t you move out?” 

If my friend Kathy heard me, she would say at such times, “It’s a MOOOVIE!” In other words, it’s not real and doesn’t need to be realistic. And we have all had a Sheldon in our lives at some point, haven’t we? 

How About You?

Do you find it easy to see other people's points of view? 
Where do you think your ideas are the truth?