Do you notice a pattern?
Have you ever looked underneath the upset and the reasons to see why you are upset?
I Don't Like It!For me, it always boils down to this: I'm upset when something happens that I don't agree with.
I don't like it. I don't want it. It shouldn't have happened.
Basically, I don't agree with it. Basically, I'm having a little temper tantrum about it. And I'm not accepting what is.
Traffic - Doesn't It Make You Nuts?Let's say I need to drive somewhere I've been many times. And I forget that the timing of my trip will out me smack dab in the middle of in commute traffic. So I didn't allot enough time for that. Now every traffic light could become an annoyance. Every time a driver does something stupid in front of me, or when I am unable to change lanes because there's so many cars on the road, I could be frustrated.
What's Happening Here?I want the situation to be other than it is. Better. By my definition. (Well, light traffic would be better by most people's definition. Including the umpteen drivers on the road with me.)
As long as I am arguing mentally with what is -- in this case heavy traffic and a longer than anticipated trip -- there's the option to get upset about it. About the drivers, the lights, or with myself for not planning better.
Whether it's trouble with technology, in traffic, or an interaction, I am upset because it didn't happen the way I think it should have.
That may sound simple, but it's what a former teacher used to call a cosmic pea. In other words: little but pervasive. Here's what I mean.
What's the Bigger Truth?But there's a bigger truth here. In most cases, it's not the end of the world if I get there a little bit later. And, whether it is or isn't, it is going to take as much time as it takes to get there. Whether I am upset or happy. So why not choose happy and have fun during the drive?
It's More FunAnd I usually find it so much more fun to choose to be happy instead of arguing with the present moment.
Although I'm not a big fan of the phrase "It is what it is.", that's one way of saying this. To me, it's not resignation, but acceptance. It means that I accept the fact that this is the current situation. And I make a choice what to do next.
I can choose acceptance in every situation. If I don't like what's happening, the first step (assuming there's no physical danger) is to really look at what's happening. And accept the fact that this is what's happening. Then look at your options based on that.
How About You?What upsets your canoe? What do you do about it?
The Search for the Black Skirt