Revenge Is Futile

I've often wondered what revenge actually is. You know, where it comes from. Why people do it.

Perhaps because I have 4 brothers, and even the younger ones were larger than me early on, but I never got into revenge. And it didn't make sense to me. I mean, if you "get even" with someone, what exactly have you gained? What's in it for you? Maybe you even feel better for a few minutes, but it didn't really accomplish anything. Except maybe start or continue a vendetta.

I don't usually go to the dictionary for understanding, but I looked this one up for some more insight.

From dictionary.com: revenge means to 1) exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, especially in a resentful or vindictive spirit. 2) to take vengeance for; inflict punishment for; avenge.
and vengeance means: 1) infliction of injury, harm,  humiliation, or the like, on a person by another who has been harmed by that person.

Then, not long ago, I had a weird dream that involved grabbing someone after they hurt a loved one, and woke up and understood something about revenge.

Revenge is a futile attempt to change the past.

So it's like self defense in retrospect.
Like defending yourself after-the-fact.
Or defending a loved one after-the-fact.
Except it's kind of too late.
Which is kind of empty for me.

Well, that sort of makes sense. But it isn't effective at defending yourself or changing the facts.

I'm not saying that I'm against justice. I'm all for justice, fairness, and equanimity. I just don't see vengeance fitting into that scenario.

For me it's more about learning that the world is a friendly place, and letting that prevailing thought color my world. I keep my eyes and ears open, and when possible, my spider sense, and just know that people are generally doing the best they can every moment.

Sometimes their best isn't great.

Hey, sometimes my best isn't great either. But it's the best I can do in that moment.

Like when my password isn't working for the umpteenth time this year. I don't take it out on my computer. Well, at least not physically. But I have been known to swear like a truck driver at my computer. I would never do that to a person, so why does a computer get to me so? Well, I can't ask it what's wrong. So I feel completely and utterly stone-walled. Stuck.

And sometimes life is like that. So I'm learning to be kind to myself and my computer when it's not behaving as expected. Because every word I say to it, I am hearing

myself. I am feeling it, running that energy through my body. And it doesn't feel good. And it isn't good for me. I'd much rather see it as a puzzle, and take a breath, and maybe step away for a moment.

And sometimes when the software's Help isn't helpful, all you can do is pray to the computer gods. And not take it out on a poo defenseless computer that is only doing what it knows how to do to the best of its ability.

Which sometimes, isn't so great.

How About You?