New Year - New Thoughts

Do you make New Year's resolutions?
I like the idea of making new thoughts and new goals for the new year.

Are you like most of us who don't keep them more than a few weeks? Days? Hours? I certainly fit that description. For a long time, I didn't get the idea, since a new year starts every day. Then I tried them, and when I failed, I felt more discouraged than before. I would think "What's the use?" So I don't make New Years resolutions any more.

From Resolution to Rebellion

I read something recently about resolutions to lose weight - one of the most popular New Year's resolutions - that almost always fail. It said that making a resolution is like saying you're not OK the way you are. And that makes sense to me. We are failing because we are starting from the premise that we are wrong, and we are essentially scolding ourselves into behaving better. I don't know about you, but that has never worked as a motivation for me. I have noticed that every time I resolve to start eating right, the next thing I find myself doing is heading for my favorite guilty pleasure like a brownie or chocolate bar. I've noticed that when I think this way, my mind interprets it as a restriction, and then the rebellious part automatically goes in to overdrive. No one is going to tell me what to do! Not even if it's me. Not even if I know it's good for me.

So What Do You Do Instead?

Instead of saying I'm starting a diet, or I'm going to start eating right, or cut out the sugar, or

whatever, I simply watch myself do what I do. I find it more useful to choose to care for myself better, but not in a forceful way. More like I am practicing. More like... like how I would want to speak to a child to guide her toward real self-care rather than instant gratification that is followed by a let-down. It's a new way to treat myself. Not with treats like candy bars and pizza, but treating myself to whole fresh foods. Treating myself well. Honoring what my body really asks for. It's been working hard and well to cope with all the unhealthy food I have given it. I am grateful that I'm healthy despite what I ask my body to cope with daily.

Setting a New Course

So instead of making a resolution, I choose a trajectory, or set a course that I want to sail toward. It just feels gentler, which means
that there's nothing to resist or rebel against. I'm not criticizing who and what I am in this moment. It's becomes a choice each day, each moment: where do I want to steer my life this year? Set a course and, as Jean Luc Picard would say, "Make it so!" Or as we say at the end of our prayers, "And so it is!"

Healthier Living

I am teaching a six-week class in Santa Rosa called Healthier Living. You can register here. Mine is the Wednesday afternoon class starting January 22. It's written by Standford University, based on research about what really works to feel healthier. That can be anything from overweight to asthma to diabetes to MS or heart failure. Doctors, modern medicine, even alternative medicine, can only go so far. So it's a program about self-care. About what we can do to feel better.

And they use a great tool called an Action Plan. You decide what your goal is for the week, how much, and when. Then if it's too much, you adapt it. I love this tool because it makes me the boss. I might make a plan to do line dancing class once for one hour on Friday, and practice for 20 minutes two more times during the week. Then adapt if necessary. Now that's gentle enough for me to avoid rebellion. After all, in the back of my mind or in my heart, I know what will work for me and whether I am giving myself that gift.

Drinking More Water

About three years ago, I got really light-headed during the night, and realized it was because I was quite dehydrated. That scared me into finally committing to drink more water. I had been in the habit of drinking about 2 glasses of water per day most of my life because I didn't want to live in the bathroom. So I started drinking more water. I don't remember whether I tried to drink 8 glasses per day right away; I think I did it gradually. It took months, but I trained myself to drink 8 glasses per day. And now I find that I actually get thirsty. That wasn't happening before.

Listening to My Body

So now I am practicing listening more carefully to what my body really wants. Not just what my brain and my mouth want, but what my stomach says is OK, what my inner knowing says is OK.

One of the ways I motivate myself is my friend JoAnn's e-cleanse program, where she sends daily emails to educate and
encourage eating whole fresh healthy food, and avoiding what she aptly calls Nutritional Bandits. She includes funny cartoons and yummy recipes.

And I signed up for a class on emotional eating that starts later in January. I'll let you know how it goes!

How About You?

What ways to you change your habits?